"I do enjoy the irony of having this reputation for dressing badly and yet having started a fashion line, if you can call it that: a sartorial pariah working in fashion. I met my friend Samantha Sage at antenatal classes and I was just so bored because I was pregnant and not working. I'd cut off a pair of old jeans at the knee, and put frills around the bottom, rather like Little House On The Prairie bloomers. Sam saw them and said, 'You really ought to set up your own fashion line.' So we created Pantaloonies - service customising jeans. We send customers a questionnaire, asking thinks like 'What's your favourite film?' and, 'Would you like a bum frill?' - they send back the answers with their jeans and we customise them according with words, fills and rubber-stamped patches - I do all the rubber stamping. We had a woman whose favourite film was Mary Poppins, so we wrote 'practically perfect' on the bottom; another adored Dorothy Parker, so I shrank one of her poems and rubber-stamped it on the bottom. We've even customised jeans for a bride. The only problem is that I fall in love with each pair and don't want to give them back. I've made pairs for friends and kept them for myself. I made some for my agent which say 'special agent' inside, but I love them so much she's never going to get her hands on them. Now she's going to read this and want them back."
Oh boy, I'm getting ideas, batty ideas...
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